Wednesday, March 19, 2008

on going home (maybe)

This was a good day. We had a rockin' discussion in the Shakespeare class, all about Falstaff's speech on honor, and whether there's ANY way to see the king's actions as honorable, and the implications of Hal's "if a lie may do thee grace" line, and whether Hal actually likes Falstaff. And a few people who haven't spoken all semester piped up. And I had a phone interview that led to an almost immediate invite for a campus interview, at a place I'll call Last Chance Saloon College.

I'd want the job in any case, since it looks like it will be positively my last shot at a tenure-track job this year, but Last Chance Saloon College also happens to be in the great state of ... uh, Basketball. In fact, it is only an hour-and-thirty-minute drive from the University of Basketball, and not that much farther from the Beloved Alma Mater.

I don't think I realized I was homesick until this very day, but I am. I miss crape myrtles and Virginia pines and homemade pecan pie from the farmer's market and the smell of the University of Basketball library, and I want it to be short-sleeve weather already instead of endless cold and rain. And I have a grand total of about four actual friends in the entire Midwest, as opposed to moderately friendly work-related acquaintances. That didn't bother me so much when I was hoping to be here for life and expecting that my new colleagues would eventually turn into friends, but for the last month it has felt very isolating.

So I want this job very much. And yet I have mixed feelings about wanting it so much: partly because I've had so many hopeful-seeming interviews that haven't led to anything, and partly because one of the reasons why I chose an uncertain VAP over a nice safe postdoc was that I'd lived my whole life in two adjacent states, and there were always people I knew from high school at college, and people from my college at grad school, and I'd never had the experience of starting over in a totally new place. And I wanted that adventure, and I've mostly enjoyed it and I'm glad I have had it. But I meant to make a go of it for longer than a year. So I think I'm discovering that I'm more of a homebody at heart than I thought I was, and I'm not sure I like knowing that, especially since I know this job is as yet only a very uncertain hope.

Well. Wish me luck at the Last Chance Saloon.

8 comments:

Sisyphus said...

Good luck good luck!

(and wait, isn't the University of Basketball your alma mater? I'm confused.)

heu mihi said...

Good luck! Hooray!

Fretful Porpentine said...

Sisyphus -- It is, but only for grad school. The college here known as the Beloved Alma Mater is where I went for undergrad. I guess I need to find a less ambiguous nickname for it, but I was having a hard time thinking of something both appropriately descriptive and not a dead giveaway.

And thanks for the good-luck wishes, Sisyphus and Heu Mihi!

Susan said...

break a leg...I think family and friends are valuable, and it's too bad that the academic life doesn't always make it easy to be near them!

Horace said...

Late to the luck-wishing party, but...

Good Luck! And I hear you on wanting to be in a place with shirt-sleeve weather right now! Keep us posted!

Fretful Porpentine said...

Thanks, Susan and Horace!

Pour of Tor said...

Ah, I too long for a job in the great state of Basketball (if we are thinking of the same one, and if it is in the South I am betting we are), since the University of Basketball is my beloved alma mater. But the academic job market has been traumatizing for me as well.

Fretful Porpentine said...

Pour of Tor -- Yes, I suspect we do indeed have an alma mater in common...