Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Some sensible rules to keep me from getting hopelessly muddled

1) If your legal name is Michael but you prefer to be called Jacob, please introduce yourself as Jacob and put your name on all your papers as "Jacob." It will be much easier for all of us if I never learn the name "Michael" in the first place.

2) Do not change your hair for the first month. Exception: if you have exactly the same hair as the two girls sitting next to you, please cut or dye your hair IMMEDIATELY, before the second class, and don't change it back for at least another month.

3) Hayley, Bailee, and Kayleigh are not allowed to be in the same class.

4) Identical twins are forbidden to have matching names. In fact, identical twins are forbidden.

5) The ENTIRE BASEBALL TEAM is not permitted to enroll in the same section of freshman comp.

Now, if people would only follow the damn rules. Grump.

5 comments:

Fie upon this quiet life! said...

I had identical twins in Humanities one year. I could only tell them apart because one had pointy eyebrows and the other had flat eyebrows. It was ... fun.

Fretful Porpentine said...

I have had several sets of identical twins over the years, all of whose parents thought it was cute to name them things like Tara and Terra, or Joy and Jubilee. (Not real examples, but you get the idea.) I have even had a set of male / female fraternal twins named on a similar principle; think Tyler and Taylor, although the actual names were considerably more ... unique. AAARGHHH WHY?

Undine Spragg said...

Yes to these rules! Here is one more: do not wear a hat, or, if you do wear a hat, never take it off. I will absolutely not recognize you otherwise.

Fretful Porpentine said...

Yes! And what's up with those people who sometimes wear glasses? Either wear glasses, or do not, but pick one!

JaneB said...

Oh, the hair changing! We get these excellent photo sheets for first years... but the photos are all taken the first day on campus, and the sheer number of went-from-longish-curls-to-shaved, dyed-black-to-blonde, dumped-glasses-got-contact-and-piercings combos in the first couple of weeks makes them useless for up to a third of the group. And I find hats and piercings really disrupt my already poor facial recognition skills...